The Avengers/Transcript
(Episode starts with Mario with Ghost Rider, Dog the Bounty Hunter and Boba Fett.) Mario: You three are the best bounty hunters in the universe. Well, at least you got decent reviews on Yelp. Anyways, I want you to hunt down that blue rat Sonic and bring him to me. You may use any method as necessary, but I want him alive. No disintegrations. Ghost Rider: I'm sorry, no dish-washing agents? I can't hear a thing. There's like a constant burning sound in my ears. Dog: Watch out, skull brah! Your fire head is going to singe my hair! Fett: I'm a clone, did you know that?! I'm like a souped-up Stormtrooper! (Dog's hair catches on fire as he began running away from Ghost Rider.) Mario: Oh my god...this...this is already a big mistake...Look, just go get him, okay? (At Sonic's mansion, Sonic hears the doorbell and runs to the door. Ghost Rider, Dog and Fett arrives.) Fett: Are you Sonic? Sonic: Uh...no? Hey, Eggman, food's here! Eggman: Food! (Runs to the door.) Food, food! Sonic: Here's your man! Ghost Rider: Did you just call him Eggman? Sonic: Did I, Sonic the Hedgehog, called Eggman "Eggman?" No! Eggman's your Sonic! (The Bounty Hunters look at each other.) Fett: Get him? (The Bounty Hunters attacks Eggman until Jim shows up an vaporizes them with his blaster.) Jim: What the hell is going on?! Eggman: (Getting up) Yeah! Where's my food?! Tails: Mario must've send these guys to get you. It won't be long until he comes up with another team. We should really think of getting some help of our own. Sonic: Thanks, narrator. Tails: Cut to a new scene. (In a city, the Avengers are battling against some robots.) Hulk: You know, I was thinking. Why are we called, "The Avengers?" What are we 'avenging?' You know, I've just met you guys. (Awkward silence) Oh, sorry, (In Hulk speech and deep voice) Hulk don't understand name. Okay. (Returns to normal voice) You know what? Fuck you guys. I'm outta here. Capt. America: Calm down, you fucking spaz, we're avenging the Earth. Geez, why do you have to be so touchy about it? (Mario arrives.) Mario: Hey! Are you the Avengers? Capt. America: Okay, okay, we didn't name the group, talk to eye-patch about it! Mario: Whatever, I want you to find Sonic the Hedgehog and bring him to me. Also, what's the deal with her? (Black Widow is seen twerking to some robots.) Iron Man: Yeah, she's just as useless as Katniss over here. Hawkeye: Fuck you! Capt. America: We'll do it! Right after our lunch break. (The Avengers leave for lunch, prompting the robots to keep attacking the city. At Shawarma Chameleon, the Avengers are having their lunch until Sonic and his gang arrives.) Sonic: Hey! I need you to protect us from Mario and his goons. It's like I'm Nick Fury ordering you peons around! (The Hulk grabs Sonic and runs off with Capt. America and Iron Man.) Tails: Shit. Uh...Where's did they just take Sonic? Hawkeye: I don't know! Who cares?!...ugh. I hate those guys. Eggman: Yeah, I'm sure they hate you, too. You're like the Aquaman of the group.